micro moments of love

I came across this gorgeous interview with Dr Barbara Fredrickson today.  It's one that gives us hope in building on our resources to establish better choices and responses to the challenges we all face in life. This interview is 12 minutes and Barbara's genuine, natural beauty absolutely resonate throughout.

Dr Barbara Fredrickson is Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Award-winning Director of the PEP Lab at the University of North Carolina. Her research reveals how micro-moments of love and other forms of positivity nourish your health, wisdom, and longevity. She has twice been invited to brief His Holiness the Dalai Lama on her research (link found via mindfulness4mothers.com Thanks Kellie!)


Enjoy xx

In Praise of Slow

We are trying to hold onto all things holiday around here.  It's amazing how quickly the everyday creeps back in and you loose the spaciousness that surrounds a holiday.

I wrote a few notes last week, while still away, listing all the things I loved about our trip.  I wanted a reminder so when things crowd in on me I can find my way back to some sort of 'holiday' feeling. Part of my list revolved around not being so accessible..... I really loved my 3 months of few phone calls, text messages and emails. There's so much freedom in letting go of all the surplus communication in life.  Vast amounts of space open up and so many more possibilities are apparent. The automatic and compulsive comparisons just drop away too.  At Telunas we met a successful businessman man who goes there 3 times a year to work on new ideas.  He sits looking out at the ocean where there is no email, twitter or endless distraction from the online world and he works. It is where he comes up with his best plans and feels the most inspired.

The biggest test is maintaining that space in a world that is so instant, so on and so big on over-communication.

Like me, love me, link me, tweet me, text me, call me, IG me, Facebook me, Skype me, email me...... phwaaaa.....after stepping away for three and a half months it feels a little like..... bombard me, baby! It's no wonder I've been drawn to read this, In Praise of Slow, since returning.  It's a book about challenging the cult of speed. 'Savoring the hours and minutes rather than just counting them. Doing everything as well as possible, instead of as fast as possible. It’s about quality over quantity in everything from work to food to parenting.'  (It also feels fitting after Indonesia. They are true masters of savoring the minutes).


It really is something a holiday demands you do, slow down.  Now I just need to bring that to my everyday. xx


PS. Z is like a new kid.  Back to his energetic self and loving life back at kinder with his buddies....I really underestimated how much he would miss his little friends while away.

Better late than never. x

Happy belated New Year people!

Here's to shining your bright lights in 2013 xx

 I've been taking time to work through this workbook and get a little organised for the year ahead.  It feels good to look back on last year and reflect on some of my achievements.  To asses where I want to focus my energy this year and make a few conscious decisions on how I use my time (mmmm, sorting out my social media 'plan' is definitely on the cards.... time zapper or what!  After some holiday downtime I realise just how productive I 'could' be).

I've been on a yoga intensive this week and a juice detox... Day 3 of both and I have to say I'm feeling a whole lot better today than yesterday.  This weekend I'm off on a meditation retreat with my
sister-in-law.  It will be crazy quiet and I can't wait.

Hope your New Year is shaping up the way you would like it to look. xx

Crazy good

We spent a gorgeous morning sheltering from the scorching sun under an elm tree at Ripponlea Estate yesterday.  The story time program they run is fun.  Fairy Adele definitely has a way with little people...... even little lads who are not very much into 'fairies!.... Blaahhh'.

I've been 'practicing' the law of least effort around here this Christmas.  It's amazing how engrained my frenetic propensity is at Christmas time.   Every now and then I feel things speed up, my adrenaline kicks in and I'm off on a tangent making lists and thinking of odd jobs I must do before Christmas...... when.... really?........  Breathing and holding firm to this would be a lot smarter.

I hope you're able to cruise through Christmas this year, doing less and accomplishing more.  It really is crazy good, rather than crazy nuts!

xoxox

PS. Instead of hitting the stores Jonah & the Girl have 25% of and free express delivery between 13-24th. Using promo code 'HAPPYCHRISTMAS' now there's least effort, maximum results right there.  Yippee.

Friendship Love x

Recently, I 'met' a blog friend for the very first time.  I was rather nervous, a little like it was a first date.  We've known one another here in blog land for over a year, reading one another's posts, commenting and next we moved onto the occasional email.  Finally, however we went live and Skyped.  What a hoot.
This little link is for her.  Maybe a cup of tea here in Jan 2014?

xxx

I hope your Christmas preparations are going well.  I'm feeling relatively organised this year.  Our screen printing in done (photos to come I don't want to spoil the surprise), lip balm made and all are wrapped under our tree or weaving their way to homes across the seas right now.

xxx

There have been some unexpected challenges this Christmas but I am managing to hold onto my mantra...... as best I can...... & make time for doing absolutely 'nothing'.  I hope you have too.

x

Hello there 'luminous stardust beings'

I do love Deepak and his diamonds.  There's something so serene and kind about the way he delivers information.  I really enjoyed this video on social media.  It's somewhat refreshing to see the choices we have in creating a more connected society.  With the crassness of so many sites these days it's sometimes hard to stop & see that the way we interact with these online spaces is a choice we make that's shaping our lives.  It's also nice to remind myself that I can resist sites that make me feel flat, deflated and totally disconnected from myself.

'The 4 things we humans want; hope, trust, stability & respect.  It's not rocket science.' 

Oh Deepak, I love you. 

Happy weekend. xx

Explosive material

Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.
Elliott Larson

I hate the feeling of being angry. It erodes the happiness I do have in my life. It distracts me from being here with the people I love. I don't hear what's going on under my nose or see what's happening in front of my eyes ...as I'm quite literally raging a war, hurtling a thousand accusations in my head towards this...seemingly... demonic aggressor.

'When you make someone else wrong, you hold the energy of needing to correct, convince, control ,or change someone else (the 4 C’s as I call them). Someone should “be or do” the way you expect. Blaming, complaining, or condemning becomes acceptable.' Tiny Buddha.

It makes me a little sad to let go of my expectations (yes, I'll confess I had a dream of how it should be and I was holding onto that vision pretty damn tight determined to make it RIGHT.... ) but I'm here now pledging to let it go or risk creating vast amounts of discomfort not only for myself but those around me. My resistance is huge.  My back has given way (damn, our bodies never lie).  As dear old Albert Einstein put it 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.' So bye bye cycle of expectation-disappointment-anger-expectaion-disappointment-anger-expectation-disappointment-anger-expectation....

Hello to my focus on what 'is'....  you are going to be needed to keep me on track for this one..... those voices of distraction can be oh so tempting at times and that old tale of woe is so familiar it feels like a comfy pair of PJ's to slip into.

Here's to ...... totally unexpected outcomes and zero expectations.  The thought makes me feel a little queasy but let's face it, the only way is up, baby.

'Challenge yourself to truly pursue happiness in the way that it makes sense to you, even if that means defying expectations....'  Sunday Quotes.

xox

Heaven breaking in on your world.

One of my lovely buddies from here told me about the Greek word 'kairos' last week.  It means 'a moment that makes you stand still and take in it's full meaning. Something that makes you catch your breath' or simply 'Heaven breaking in on your world.'

I hope you have many 'kairos' moments this week! Happy Monday  xx

Compassionate listening

Thich Nhat Hanh on Compassionate Listening

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says listening can help end the suffering of an individual, put an end to war and change the world for the better.

I came across this clip yesterday over at Oprah's Super Soul Sunday series. I've just finished reading Thich Nhat Hanh's book Touching Peace and compassionate listening is one of the things that really resonated with me........ I can be a little too quick to give my opinion, at times.

Here's to more compassionate listening. xx

It's the small things

These photos have been taken over the last 4 days. They are snippets. Snippets of time spent spent wandering alone, of quiet time with family and celebrating, a wedding, with friends.
Some of these photos appear in my Gratitude Project here. It's my little meditation on the small things.

Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.
Vincent Van Gogh

I hope your weekend was full of small things to make you smile. xx

{this moment}

A somewhat sporadic Friday ritual (originted by Soule Mama).
A single photo capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special moment.

“Every morning was a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, and I may say innocence, with Nature herself.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden, or Life in the Woods

The older I become, the fonder I am of early mornings..... wonders never cease.
Happy weekend. xx

Interview # 4....with Sarah Napthali, author of Buddhism for Mothers.

I landed in 'Motherhood' four years ago, almost to the day. I say landed as though those nine months I was totally oblivious to the fact that I was having a baby.... and in some ways I was. For nine months the focus was on pregnancy, the 'romantic' notion of motherhood and....da da da dahhh, the birth.
I knew there would be a baby but there was little talk of what it would 'really' be like, how bombed I'd feel from lack of sleep, where we would find our support once our baby was born, the second guessing or the incredibly overwhelming realisation that we were responsible for this mind blowingly beautiful little lad 24/7.
From the very beginning it has been one amazing ride. One that has brought more love and the most incredibly tender, melt-your-heart moments. One where I've been called to step up constantly because gauranteed straight after one of those melt-your-heart moments.... the shi@ could invariably (and quite literally) hit the fan. Just when I thought I'd 'got it', came the consistent changes and challenges, met with self doubt and motherly guilt (why did it look so darn easy for everyone else?)...... There was no guide book, G.P., paediatrician or maternal health nurse who could ease my anxieties over motherhood or Z's inconsolable colic. My mum had passed away the year prior leaving a huge deficit and a bout of challenges, all it's own. I itched for a maternal figure to say "You're doing a great job. It's all ok."..... actually, people were probably saying that....I just itched for my mum to say "You're doing a great job. It's all ok."

Fortunately I came across a book by Sarah Napthali, 'Buddhism for Mothers'. Her writing was like sitting down with the most honest, dearest friend. It's a book that I'll cherish forever. Sarah's practical, humorous portrayal of motherhood was like being thrown a life line. I devoured her book. As a mother of two rambunctious boys Sarah made it 'ok'...the self doubt, the questioning, the sheer frustration and moments of escalating joy. My dog eared and well worn copy has been a source of solace and I often return to the book, open at a page and read. It's always the perfect place. It reminds me to slow down and enjoy the ride. Sarah's wisdom and humor offer me relief and a chance not to take motherhood so seriously. To let go, laugh, play and be here, now. As a humble show of gratitude, I asked to interview Sarah.

Along the track

We arrived back yesterday from the hike. It certainly was way more challenging than any of us had anticipated and at times we wondered why on earth we'd decided to put ourselves through this..... were we really having fun?
The hills were relentless. There were tiger snakes and scorpions, not to mention the countless other bugs and scratchy animals outside our tents at night.
Sleeping conditions were tight and self inflating mattresses.... well after a day of hiking, they offer very little relief to aching joints.
If you've even had the pleasure of dehydrated meals cooked on the trangia you'll know cuisine wasn't a draw card either.
Despite all of this we had an incredible time. We conquered our minds to triumph over some of the most challenging hills and tested our steely resolve when we came face to face with a couple of tiger snakes along the track. We forged greater bonds through our experiences and appreciated the completely unique qualities everyone bought to the group.
We all had our roles to play in getting us through and looking for the humor to make it a truly memorable and exhilarating experience.
We did it!

I came across a quote today which really seemed to capture it (thanks Tracey!):
'An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards, so when life (or your pack!) is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it is going to launch you into something great, so just focus and keep aiming.'

xox

Can't get you out of my head

I took this photo yesterday while at the dog beach with Z and Barley. It was one of those perfect hazy Melbourne Autumn days.
It's incredible how being by the sea brings such peace. It made me realise how much I am itching to head down the coast this weekend for our hike and so grateful that we create this space for one another each year.
Good friends, fresh air, adventure, stepping back, taking time, I just cant get it out of my head.

Much like this all time favorite Flaming lips cover of Kylie.

Thank you to my amazing friends who help make this happen.

If you missed the interview with Paula, the inspiration for our hike, then I'll leave you with the link.
Have a wonderful weekend and I'll see you back here next week.
Love xx

Some days the world just needs more

I googled "loving patience" last night...as you do.... and was rewarded with this gem...I especially loved the vision of myself as a keg of dynamite (or a 'keg' of anything really):

'When you feel like a keg of dynamite just about to go off, learn patience towards yourself. Just slow down at that point - just pause - instead of immediately acting on an established habitual response.....'

It really did the trick because I can't stop laughing at the thought of it. Me, the keg.
What a lovely piece of distraction.

Join me & smile at someone you think needs a little love today...... even if it's yourself! xox

PS. Take a look at beautifully, suddenly's post here for some rather inspiring Sydney love.

Interview # 3... with Paula Constant

Walking is so damn accessible. It's something we all , pretty much, do everyday. We walk to the shops, for a coffee, to work, around the supermarket, to the pub and around the block for a bit of exercise. We walk without thinking about it, all day.

Yet, what Paula Constant achieved is almost unfathomable. In 2004 Paula and her husband, Gary, walked out of Trafalgar Square, London, carrying packs that exceeded recommended hiking maximums by about 20 kilos, to commence their dream adventure. They were to walk, ....with very little training, from London & finish in the Sahara Desert.

From London they walked through France to Spain...across the Pyrenees and along the Camino de Santiago.....down through Portugal and back into Spain. Exhausted yet? It's starting to sound a little like the Demtel commercial...'But wait there's more'....(no steak knives, sorry)...but Paula then walked to Algeciras, across to Morocco and down through the Western Sahara.
Just thinking about it tuckers me out. Over 12,000km's. One foot in front of the other, day after day.

(Photo courtesy of constanttrek).

I first came across Paula's journey when my brother handed me a book back in 2010 and said 'I think you'll like this.' It was a copy of Slow Journey South, Paula's first book about her adventure. I was hooked and slightly encouraged by the fact that this seemingly 'normal' person has achieved something so incredible by a means that were completely available to me. I have two feet!! .... & I love an adventure.

Paula was the inspiration for the Great Ocean Road walk I organised with 5 friends last year (this years adventure is in exactly 2 weeks time! Yippee). The GOR walk is a far cry from the Sahara but with little training and little space in our lives, I was encouraged by her philosophy to just get out and get walking. Paula's story has stayed with me since and I often draw on her determination to keep me focused on taking each and every step, no matter how seemingly small, in the direction of my desired destination.

:::

Hello Paula & thanks for agreeing to do this interview. I appreciate you taking the time between hiking & writing to be here at Stupendous Joy. You have carved an incredible life for yourself through walking. Where on earth did the desire to traverse countries on foot come from?
I'd traveled a lot with a pack on, in trains and buses or cars. I was tired of seeing places pass me by - it always seemed that the most interesting parts were those in between stops, that I could never find my way back to. I wanted to walk through these places so that I could be a part of daily life, see a country as did those who inhabited it.

Most of us have tripped up short of our goals after one mere set back.....but you, wow! How did you stay so motivated through blisters, foul weather, a marriage breakdown and financial strain to keep on putting one foot in front of the other in order to persue your dream?
Sometimes I think it was the walking that actually got me through those things. It was easier to physically put one foot in front of the other than to stop and think about it. Somehow walking allows you to walk through things almost subconsciously, so it passes, and you stamp it out. You don't have to sit in the middle of the pain and think of nothing else. Walking, in my opinion is the greatest cure of them all.

You talk about the journey of life interesting you more than the giddy highs of intrepid adventure. No doubt you gained many insights into yourself and life through the intensity of your walking. What changes or revelations did you experience through the walk?
I think the changes wrought in me by the walk only became apparent years later. In some ways it is only now that I realise what walking did for me - how it matured me, made me more patient, made me more humorous. Perhaps the best thing about being out there for so long was the realisation that the human experience really is universal - just at the moment you feel the loneliest, you discover that the nomadic Muslim 60 year old guy next to you is thinking the same thing and you both laugh. This is the secret to happiness for me.

What were the small unexpected joys experienced on your walk?
Dawn every day. Walking in the middle of the night beneath wheeling stars so bright they couldn't help but make me smile, right before I rolled over and died in deep, deep sleep again, with the desert breeze on my face. My camels, who cracked me up and kept me company. The many small kindnesses I was shown and the humility of many of the people I met. The sheer joy of cresting a dune to find Tomboctou lying in front of me. The miracle of good food in an arid part of the desert. The sight of the dunes changing colour in the middle of a dune sea. So many joys to be honest. No matter how hard the day was, I never wished myself somewhere else.

I imagine the adventurous spirit is a hard one to quell once ignited. What's next?
A 'very' mini adventure. I'm setting off this weekend from the Costa tropical in Spain to walk 1300kms to Santiago de Compostela along the very well resourced Via de la Plata. It is a little walk that will give me time to think and write, and I' can't wait. It feels like a luxury. Walking never ends. It is a passion that once ignited can't be quelled, a wonderful meditation that you can find anywhere, anytime. I Love it, and feel very grateful that I've had the chance and support to walk as far as I have.


Thanks for the lovely insight into your walking Paula. For your inspiration in getting me and my friends out there hiking... with little training..... and igniting a sense of adventure in us. There's nothing quite like being out in the elements and savoring every step, right here, right now. All the best with your current adventure in Spain. The Camino de Santiago is on my to-do list . I look forward to reading your third book. Much appreciation xx

Paula Constant Links:
::: website
::: Books: Slow Journey South & Sahara
::: diary
::: motivational presentations

My Previous Intervies:
Clare Bowditch
Susannah Conway

Move that body

I've been wanting to get back into yoga for some time but finding a class that works in with all of our schedules hasn't happened this semester. I've decided to turn to Tara Stiles...NY yoga guru.... and follow her Morning Yoga for Flexibility routine. Being an ex-ballet dancer yoga seems to fit...especially once I get past the initial aches and pains. If I can't get out to do it.... then I'll just have to do it at home. Me on my little mat, by my computer.
Here's my wee challenge: I'm going to do this routine on the days I don't jog. So, each Monday, Wednesday, Friday & Saturday morning for the next month.

Want to join me in the challenge?

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. ~Author Unknown

PS. I just did a little trial run and already my body feels happier!

Where do you stand?

This article in the New York times, 'The Joy of Quiet' By PICO IYER, paints a pivotal picture in the changing tide of our accessibility. Between blogging, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, email, mobiles, text messages, Words with friends, Instagram, and the multitude of other applications which demand our attention, it highlights our complete desire to disconnect from a maddeningly connected world. It reminds us how important it is for us to sit quietly. Something I always swear to do more of but more often than not neglect to squeeze into my day.

"The urgency of slowing down — to find the time and space to think — is nothing new, of course, and wiser souls have always reminded us that the more attention we pay to the moment, the less time and energy we have to place it in some larger context. “Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries,” the French philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote in the 17th century, “and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.” He also famously remarked that all of man’s problems come from his inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

If you have the time to read the article I highly recommend it.  Now I just need to make a few boundaries for my own 'accessibility' & sit quietly! xox

a meditative night ...in Austria

This photo was taken last night (on my phone) at a meditation meeting I attended in Firzroy at the ACU, College Hall. Totally unspectacular from the street the inside of this building is quite something. I felt like I was spending the evening in an Austrian Palace with the von Trapp Family.

400 Melbournian's braved the icy cold weather conditions to hear a panel interview with Dr Ian Gawler, Dr Craig Hassed and Charlie Hogg (Director of Brahma Kumaris Raja Yoga Centres in Australia) on 'Meditation for Healing the Mind, Body & Soul.' A fascinating night, sprinkled with humour and hope. I came away feeling very invigorated by their down to earth approach to the mind and it's incredible capabilities.

I first started meditating a few years ago at The Tara Institute after reading Sarah Napthali's 'Buddhism for Mothers' (a book I can't recommend highly enough for any mum regardless of spiritual or religious preferences). I continue to go to Tara most Monday nights with my beautiful Buddhist buddy A. I find it puts me in good stead for the coming week. The technique I use to meditate was taught to me by the Ishaya's. I find it simple & hugely effective. Meditation definitely has an accumulative effect & it takes great commitment to find the time to meditate but boy does it make a huge difference to my outlook when I do it consistently.

All this talk of meditation must be inspired by the Dalai Lama's visit to Australia! I'm off to see his public lecture this Saturday with a couple of friends. I can't wait. We're also planning to stop by Federation Square to knit a square for the 'Knit in at Light Hearts' a worldwide knit in public day where you can learn to knit squares for charity and attach these, together with a message of hope, to the Light Hearts installation.

I do love Melbourne & Melbournian's for their inquiring and creative spirit....even in the depths of freezing temperatures and bleak forecasts. xox